The role of the dad in the decision-making procedure
Any decision relating to the child should be the result of agreement between both parents and this should be emphasized to the child.
Many times, the opinion of the dad is marginalized due to his absence. Even if the dad is not at home at that specific time, his presence should be imposed, even by phone. (e.g. The mum says to the child: “I will answer you in a while, after consulting at first with your dad”).
The child should feel that its dad is interested and has an active role in its upbringing. We do not use the absence of the dad to threat it!
For example, many mums tell their children “when your father comes home, I will tell him what you did and then you will be sorry...”. In this way, they make the expectation of the dad's coming at home unpleasant.
It is, also, useful not to blame each other by saying “ask your dad” or “ask your mum”. It is advisable to show your child that you have a good communication and that you decide together. It is obvious that for some simple everyday things, you do not need to convene, every time, a “family council”.
Each parent can take initiatives in making decisions without reversing the rules set by the other parent.
